


What Dreams Are Made Of

by SparklingPopsicles



Category: Free!
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, post-accident
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-08
Updated: 2015-06-08
Packaged: 2018-04-03 12:41:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4101316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SparklingPopsicles/pseuds/SparklingPopsicles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Haru has nightmares, and Makoto might finally have an answer for them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Dreams Are Made Of

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Post-Accident fic inspired by the MH Mook, and by a lovely piece of Mook art created by the amazingly talented Tama @yukianesa (which I've included at the end). As soon as I saw her drawing this piece just came to me. So, thank you, pudding cups!!! I hope you all enjoy!!
> 
> THANK YOU to Anne, as always, for being an incredible beta!

Makoto wakes up for the second time. He goes to the bathroom to splash water on his face, and he’s fully awake by the time he is on his way back to his room. Makoto wonders how he’ll mange to fall asleep again when doing so the first time seemed to take hours. It’s already 2:00 a.m., and he has an early morning class before his shift at the coffee house.

Makoto walks past Haru’s bedroom, hearing something faint. He stops and immediately backs up, putting an ear to Haru’s door. Makoto feels his senses heighten as his concern for Haru grows.

Makoto hears the noise again, so he makes up his mind, slowly opening the door.

It’s dark inside Haru’s bedroom, but the moonlight shining through the windows gives Makoto enough light to make out his surroundings – mainly his best friend in bed mildly kicking and gasping like a fish out of water.

Makoto’s heart skips a beat. He hurries to Haru’s bedside, sitting down. He turns on the lamplight and grips Haru’s bicep.

“Haru,” Makoto calls, shaking his friend.

Haru loudly gasps and whips open his eyes, panting heavily and putting a hand up to his cheek, like he wants to swat away something that followed him out of his dream. Haru’s face is disturbingly pale and sweaty, his black hair pasted to his forehead.

“H-Haru?” Makoto croaks, feeling scared.

Haru doesn’t speak, merely keeps panting as his startled blue eyes roam all over Makoto’s face, as if Haru is trying to recognize him. Makoto stares right back, telling Haru with his eyes that he’s real, and he grips Haru’s arm a little tighter for emphasis.

The touch must have worked because Haru’s breathing begins to settle, and before Makoto can think of anything to say, Haru shoots up and clings to Makoto, circling his arms around Makoto’s shoulders.

Makoto takes in a sharp breath as overwhelming shock briefly freezes his muscles, but Makoto almost immediately pulls his arms around Haru’s waist, hugging him close.

“It’s okay. You’re okay,” Makoto tells him.

Haru remains silent, only clutching Makoto’s back and resting his face against Makoto’s shoulder. Haru’s shirt is soaked with sweat, and his body is radiating so much heat, trembling under Makoto’s hands. Haru isn’t a weak person, but right now he feels so delicate, maybe on the verge of breaking completely if Makoto doesn’t keep him steady.

Makoto firms his hold on Haru, his heart feeling heavy. He wants to keep Haru locked safely in his arms, soaking up every one of Haru’s bad feelings and experiencing them for him. Makoto would willingly do that for Haru – Makoto would willingly do anything for his best friend who won’t let him go.

Makoto’s eyes close. He has to be strong for Haru – do whatever he needs to do to help his best friend and he _knows_ that, but Makoto also can’t help but to want to break down and sink into Haru’s body.

Haru may be trembling and sweaty, but he also feels so incredibly good. So soft and comfortable. He fits against Makoto like their bodies were designed to go together – like home only means something if they’re connected.

Haru lifts his arms from Makoto and pulls away, Makoto reluctantly releasing his hold on Haru, fearing that his best friend heard his thoughts.

Haru doesn’t appear upset, however. He just stares at Makoto, his ocean eyes slightly dazed, and Makoto’s breath catches in his throat. He can’t help himself and stopped trying to years ago. It’s far too quiet; they are far too close, and Haru is far too beautiful for Makoto not to react – no matter what situation they’re in.

Makoto feels a blazing impulse that’s been plaguing him practically his entire life, growing rapidly in strength when he and Haru moved away for uni and got a two-bedroom apartment together.

“I-I’ll get you a new shirt,” Makoto struggles to say, forcing himself to look away from Haru and down to his messy floor. Makoto picks up the first shirt he sees and offers it to Haru who silently takes it, keeping his focus lost somewhere in his blanket.

“Don’t want you to get sick,” Makoto adds, knowing that he has to do more than this. “I’ll get you some water, too.” He quickly stands and turns to leave.

“Makoto?” Haru says, softly, his voice small and thin but still able to flow through Makoto like a pleasant chill. It’s the first word Haru has spoken. Makoto’s name is something Haru needs to say out loud.

Makoto turns around, already having an answer for Haru. “I’ll be right back,” Makoto assures, giving Haru a small smile.

Haru clutches the shirt tightly in his hands, vaguely nodding.

Makoto takes his time getting ice water for Haru, allowing his best friend a few moments alone to collect himself. Makoto takes advantage of the time as well, telling himself that making Haru more physically comfortable won’t be enough, not for this situation.

It’s been almost a month since their car accident, since they got hit while crossing at a traffic light. No one was severely injured, luckily, but both Makoto and Haru spent the night in the hospital, recovering both physically and mentally.

This isn’t the first nightmare Haru has had since then. Every once in a while Makoto will hear Haru making tea in the middle of the night, or Makoto will see the effect the following morning, Haru looking completely washed out.

Haru always tells Makoto that it’s nothing and assures that he is okay and will get over it, but this is the first time Makoto has ever seen Haru’s terror as it was happening or has felt what it does to Haru’s body.

Makoto hangs his head in shame, wishing that he had intervened sooner, but the truth is that Makoto has always had an idea of just how frightening Haru’s dreams are – since he too sometimes wakes up in a cold sweat, gasping and wishing that he could pull Haru tightly to his body to feel safe again.

Makoto splashes his face a few times with the faucet water before heading back, trying to force away the guilt that is poisoning his system. The sensation is incredibly hard to fight. Makoto is the one who deserves to have nightmares – not Haru.

Makoto returns to the bedroom to find Haru changed and sitting on the edge of his bed, staring mindlessly ahead.

Makoto sits next to him. “Here,” he says, handing Haru the glass.

Haru takes it and drinks, closing his eyes blissfully as if the water were medicine, which Makoto learned years ago is literally the case for Haru.

Haru puts down the glass on his bedside table, and like Makoto hoped and expected, Haru does look better – at least he seems to know who and where he is now.

Haru finally looks at Makoto, smoothly moving hair out of his face, some of the dark strands still sticking to his skin. In any other situation Makoto would allow himself a moment to admire such a gorgeous sight, but right now everything is about Haru.

“You don’t have to stay,” Haru says, coolly, shifting a bit.

For people who don’t know Haru – haven’t watched him their whole lives and learned the meaning of even his slightest of movements – Haru would appear indifferent. But Makoto knows Haru. Understands him better than Makoto could or will ever possibly know anything, and right now Haru obviously needs Makoto’s support.

It’s not something Makoto can just see. He can feel Haru’s fear inside of him, slithering up Makoto’s spine like a snake. He can even tell that Haru is still shaking.

“I don’t mind being here,” Makoto says, wanting to take Haru in his arms again. “I was having trouble sleeping, too.”

Haru stays quiet, and Makoto decides that it’s a good time to ask the inevitable question, now that Haru seems a bit more stable.

“Another nightmare?” Makoto asks, as gently as possible.

Haru looks away, his brows tensing just the slightest. He nods, a quick up and down, and Makoto’s heart feels even heavier at the confirmation.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Makoto asks, already knowing the answer.

Haru shakes his head, keeping his eyes on his lap. “No.”

It’s the response Makoto anticipated, but not the one he wanted to hear. Regardless, he won’t push Haru to speak any further about it right now. Makoto himself has never given Haru any indication about his own night terrors, even though they are always about him.

“That’s all right,” Makoto says. “We can just sit here.”

Haru still says nothing, but Makoto catches the slight hitch in Haru’s breathing.

Makoto doesn’t know what to do with himself. No more than a few minutes ago he was closer than he’s ever physically been with Haru. Right now they’re close – touching, actually – but Makoto feels so far away from Haru and it kills him.

There isn’t anything Makoto loves more in the world than the person sitting next to him, but it’s still not enough. It’s not enough to keep Haru safe or from hurting, which is the last thing that should ever be allowed to happen. The last thing _Makoto_ is supposed to let happen.

“I’m sorry, Haru,” Makoto finds himself saying, after awhile.

“What?” Haru asks, sounding distant and turning to him.

Makoto swallows hard, balling his fists into Haru’s blanket. “I’m sorry. For everything.”

Makoto says nothing more, only gazes at Haru. Haru’s eyes move over Makoto’s face, as if he’s searching for something, reading something that has only now appeared. Makoto feels stuck and nervous and also hopeful that the message is written all over him, so he won’t have to hide the guilt anymore.

Haru’s cheeks suddenly flush with color, and he looks…angry. Angrier than Makoto can ever remember seeing him.

“Don’t,” Haru says. “Don’t be stupid.”

“I-I was driving,” Makoto says, his voice cracking.

“Shut up,” Haru commands in a raised voice. “You know that what happened…” Haru trails off, looking away again. “ _This_ , what’s happening – it’s not your fault.”

“I was driving,” Makoto repeats, shaking his head. “I was supposed to keep us safe, but I didn’t. And now it’s because of me that you’re scared, and I am so sorry, Haru.”

Makoto takes a breath, wetting his lips and feeling lightheaded. He knows this is supposed to be about Haru, but it’s Makoto’s fault that all this has happened, and he needs to make Haru understand that he’ll do better. He _has_ to do better from now on.

Makoto turns so he’s sitting more on Haru’s bed, facing him completely. “I will never let anything happen to you again,” Makoto urges. “You don’t have to be scared.”

All the anger in Haru’s face fades. His body relaxes, and he slowly blinks at Makoto, as if Haru once again doesn’t recognize what he sees. He turns so he’s facing Makoto, too.

“It’s not about me,” Haru says, his voice barely a whisper. Haru shakes his head, telling Makoto to find what he can’t say out loud.

Makoto searches Haru, but he realizes that he already knows what his best friend is trying to tell him. What his actual fears are. Makoto sighs despite himself, and he’s lucky that he’s sitting because Makoto feels like his knees might give out.

“You’re worried about me getting hurt again?” Makoto asks. “You…you’re dreaming about me?”

Haru swallows, and his breath hitches again. “Nothing can happen to you,” he says. “You have to be here. For things to be okay…with me.”

Makoto wants to sigh again. He isn’t sure of what to say, but a crippling pressure that’s been clawing at his shoulders suddenly releases its hold and disappears. Haru doesn’t blame him. Doesn’t have nightmares about getting hurt. Instead, he worries for Makoto’s safety. Haru’s dreams are about him – just as Makoto’s are for Haru.

They fit together perfectly, even by their fears.

A surge of emotion pulses through Makoto’s body, slaying the coiling snake of fear. He remembers once again why Haru is the best person Makoto knows, why Makoto is eternally in love with him.

“Haru,” Makoto breathes. He slowly reaches out, touching Haru’s forearm.

Haru briefly looks down at Makoto’s hand before returning his gaze. His deep ocean eyes are massive, drowning Makoto, and they’ve never been so open to Makoto before. Makoto has never felt more open to Haru than he does right now.

It’s overwhelming in the best of ways. Makoto is completely submerged in Haru, and he never wants to find the surface again. He wants to stay in this moment where nothing can harm them. Where nothing can take Haru away from Makoto.

“I don’t ever plan on going anywhere,” Makoto says, the words just coming out of him now. “I only want to be here with you, and I will be. Always.”

Haru’s eyes turn pink at the corners and wetness glosses over the blue irises. “You promise?” Haru asks, and Makoto has never heard something so pure before.

The question drifts its way inside of Makoto, soaking into his heart. He feels it travel through his bloodstream, and it’s not long before the question is just a part of him, blending with each fragment of his being.

Makoto shifts his hand up to Haru’s bicep. Haru wants Makoto to promise and the request couldn’t be any easier, but right now Makoto cannot get the words out. They aren’t enough. Nothing he has done in their two decades of friendship has been enough.

The familiar impulse comes over Makoto again, and he knows that he can’t fight it any longer. Not when life has suddenly become such an uncertain thing, and his best friend is having trouble sleeping through the night because of fear.

Makoto leans forward and gently kisses Haru, his eyes falling closed. Haru’s breath instantly snags, his chest heaving, and there are only a few moments of pause before Haru adds pressure to his lips, kissing Makoto back.

They sigh lightly together, like breathing just became easy. Makoto’s entire body can feel the amazing pressure of Haru’s mouth, which is even softer than the rest of him. Kissing Haru feels so good, like what Makoto honestly needs to do for them both right now.

Makoto finds himself moving his hand to the small of Haru’s back, and Haru’s hand goes to Makoto’s knee, curling his fingertips into the material of the pajamas. Makoto has to sigh again at the touch. He’s actually kissing Haru, and Haru is kissing him back – once again not letting go.

For a second Makoto feels so horribly stupid for not doing this a decade ago, but at the same time he somehow knows that this is the perfect moment for them simply because it’s happening. They just fit together, and even though this is their first kiss, it doesn’t feel all that new to Makoto. In fact, nothing more natural has ever happened to him.

Makoto pulls away after what feels like an eternity against Haru’s mouth. Makoto’s lips are tingly, and he feels lightheaded again. Haru slowly opens his eyes. His face is completely pink, and he again seems dazed, his warm breath coming out in tiny puffs.

There are so many things that Makoto wants to say to his beautiful best friend that he loves with all of his heart and never wants to go another day without kissing again, but right now there is only one question that Makoto needs to answer.

“I promise, Haruka,” Makoto gently says.

Haru bites his lip, gripping Makoto’s knee tighter. Makoto can hardly breathe. He swallows thickly as Haru just stares at him, and Makoto suddenly notices that Haru isn’t shaking anymore.

“Okay,” Haru whispers, so quietly that Makoto can barely hear him. But he does. Notices that Haru says it with ease, like it’s just that simple for him – like all of this is suddenly so simple and okay.

Makoto finds himself leaning his forehead to Haru’s, already needing to feel close to him again. Makoto then unconsciously closes his eyes, somehow knowing what’s coming next.

Haru kisses him, and Makoto faintly moans, parting his lips a little this time so Haru can taste him, search him, and take yet another piece of him that Makoto only wants Haru to have. He doesn’t have to think about what he’s doing – he’s always been ready for Haru, his body merely waiting for its rightful owner to claim it.

Haru makes a small noise, lightly tugging on Makoto’s top lip before parting from him.

Makoto opens his eyes, and for the first time since he entered Haru’s bedroom, Haru doesn’t appear scared. His best friend looks okay – stronger than Makoto’s seen him since their accident – and that’s all Makoto needs to know that he’s finally done something right.

Makoto can’t help himself; he smiles widely, feeling his face roasting and his heart finally lifting. Haru smiles too with rosy cheeks, looking so amazingly pretty and relaxed that Makoto feels invincible. Immortal.

Makoto once again realizes that there are so many things that he wants to say, needs to get off his chest, but right now Makoto just wants to be here with Haru. Wants to continue to see Haru’s smile. Wants to be close and not let go.

Everything else can wait another day. Everything else is just detail.

“Haru?” Makoto asks.

“Makoto?” Haru answers, slowly blinking.

Makoto rubs his cheek, and the question he’s wanted to ask ever since they moved in together all of a sudden seems unnecessary. “Do you want me to stay here with you tonight?”

Haru’s breathing hitches, but his smile only grows. “Yes.”

Makoto’s heart gleefully frolics inside his chest. “O-okay.”

Makoto and Haru continue to grin shyly at each other for a few more moments before Haru eventually shifts into bed, pulling back the blanket. Makoto giggles nervously and climbs in next to him, turning off the light.

They settle in Haru’s bed and face each other, Makoto pulling one of his arms under and around Haru’s back while Haru rests his arm against Makoto’s chest. From the light outside Makoto can still make out Haru’s face, his beautiful blue eyes that glow under the moon’s shine, and his small, soft mouth that Makoto can still feel against his.

Makoto feels pressure on his hand, and he instinctively opens it so Haru can lace their fingers together.

“I’ll protect you, Makoto,” Haru says, his voice filling up the darkness. “I’m going to keep you safe.”

Makoto closes his eyes, feeling loving warmth spread over parts of him that he hadn’t realized were cold. He leans forward, kissing Haru’s forehead. “I know you will,” he whispers against it, believing Haru entirely. Believing that it’s probably all Haru has wanted to say since their accident.

Haru nuzzles closer to him, curling himself against Makoto’s body perfectly. Makoto lets his head rest on top of Haru’s head and takes in the familiar, comforting scent of his hair. Haru is everywhere around Makoto, and it feels so good. Feels like everything Makoto needs to be safe from harm.

Makoto’s eyelids droop but he keeps himself awake, keeps waiting until Haru’s body and breathing settle into the stages of sleep, which doesn’t take long.

Makoto finally closes his eyes only after Haru is peacefully at rest, and Makoto finds it incredibly easy to fall asleep.

***

In the morning Makoto can hear his alarm blaring all the way from his bedroom down the hall. He slowly opens his eyes, only to feel his best friend’s warm weight on him.

Haru’s head is still on Makoto’s shoulder – his hand still curled underneath Makoto’s, looking so stunningly beautiful in the early light, so completely safe in his calm sleep.

Makoto lightly sighs, taking in the most perfect moment that he will ever experience. He knows that they were designed to fit together – that home will never truly exist unless they are close like this.

Makoto lazily grins and tenderly kisses Haru’s forehead, falling right back into peaceful sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> makoharu is life.  
> Once again, the beautiful artwork belongs to Tama @yukianesa


End file.
